This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
