guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
