Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
The air was thick with penises
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
