i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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