everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
