Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
