sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
