do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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