I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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