so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
