Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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