is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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