I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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