Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
