if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
