I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
