You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
