Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I need a beard to bite.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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