I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
