**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
