He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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