Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
