i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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