do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Randomize
