We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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