I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
