i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
