Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
