worst night to have a conscience
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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