So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
