Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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