I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
