I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
