Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
