I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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