At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
