ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
