hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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