You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
