Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
