How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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