im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
