So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
