Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
