You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
