help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
