Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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