my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
