Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
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