Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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