First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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