I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
