i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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